Elevatin’ yo game

I remember standing in the middle of a hectic supermarket in the middle of Chinatown. My parents had asked us, jokingly, which one we wanted, but to me and my brother, it was no joke. We knew the gravity of our choice. The thicker it was, the more bruised you’d get, but any thinner and your hand would sting until the next day. You get the picture. It was a stick, with a single purpose.

Malaysians knew it by rattan or 藤条 (téng tiáo).

I always feel like I need to disclaimer that, yes indeed, our parents love us very much, and they really told us and showed us every day. The rattan was just very commonplace and it wasn’t that traumatic. It just made an impression. Literally and figuratively. We grew up learning right and wrong by that rattan, and I realize that we make our decisions now bearing similar implications in mind. The beauty of conditioning! If you think about it, you’ve been conditioned to act a certain way in society, its just the you’ve just been programed was different.

Hasan Minhaj’s Netflix Comedy Special: Homecoming King, puts it very simply. “Immigrants aren’t going to hit their children the way you do. Americans hit on the arm and bruise the body. Immigrants slap your face and bruise your soul. It’s Guantanamo of the mind.” What else can I add to that? That’s true shit. I remember fighting back the tears, when I felt that pain and thinking that breaking down was not an option. Retaining those salty, salty, tears was my last resort for maintaining my pride. Public disciplining? You bet! I now I can say confidently, I have never cried while doing a presentation in class. Why? Because I was hit in front of an audience, ain’t going to break down in front of one now!

In the words of Minhaj, “Slapping is important. It elevates your game.” And my mother, while watching this special, under her breath, whispered “yesssss” in agreement.